Expect Rambling

Hello Friends and Lovers,

Long have product review sites been the domain of bored homebodies who  want nothing more than a sample pack of Tide or some free tampons. Their eager fingers twitching as they autofill the shipping information on some valPak of coupons most of us ignore; they await the mailcarrier with heightened Christmas-esque (or drunken-eBay-esque...if I am being honest), antici...

pation. And after the samples have been sampled they pour over their keyboards or smartphones lauding the praise of conditioners and salted caramel ice cream and whatever gizmo gadget whatnot they have been sent by the gods of commerce. And I am no different than them...I could be them...I should be them. 

Here's the deal. I am extraordinarily busy. I don't have time to do yet another bloggy thing. I need another bloggy thing like I need another hole in my head (please do not send me a DIY home-trepanation kit)So, what is a bzzy girl to do? I do another bloggy thing. What the bzz is wrong with me? One thing: I am cheap as...well a free thing that someone sent to me in exchange for a review. 

What's in the box? Can I review that for you? 

What do I have going for me that is different than the million other reviewers? Allow me to make a list, because I love a list:

1. I love to write and think most reviews are boring as bzz. I read a lot of reviews, and most just provide one person's limited (and usually uncritical) view of whatever they're reviewing. Most don't even give me enough info to tell if I want the thing they're reviewing, or if I should avoid it  like a plague-ridden prairie dog. 

Not prairie dogs. These raccoon construction workers approve of my reviews.
Also they like tacos. Everyone likes tacos.

So, I want to at least make my reviews interesting and informative. I think I can do that. 

2. I cuss a lot, but promise to replace those dang ol'cussy werds with bzz. I am my own bzzr, motherbzzer! 

3. I will review bad things and be honest about why they bzzing suck. I will review good things and be honest about why they bzzing rule. If a product lands somewhere in the middle, I will fully describe that middle with a bzzing story that goes off topic at some point, but still allows you, my lovely readers, to get the idea. 

4. I think reviews can be a means to some interesting non-fiction writing. Whynot? And why can't they be fun, or funny, or irreverent, or some other words?

So, there you go.