Taxidermied Animals while you Eat

For some reason Blogger does not want me replying to comments today, so instead of getting frustrated again, and again, and again and flailing my arms every time I write some perfect clever response to something only to have it devoured by the cold and heartless bytes of some cloud, I am posting a quasi-review of John W's comment on my first post (which is also a quasi-review of Bobby's Bar-B-Que just up the road from me).

First, the review of the comment.

In a word:  AWESOME! In three words: Awesome and troubling. (I am counting the conjunction as a word.) I am honored to be compared to The Bloggess, whom I have long admired for her ability to be equal parts intelligent, debatably-evil, and hilarious. So, that is the awesome bit. What I find troubling is the fact that there are literally only TWO taxidermied animals in my photo, and yet Ward has not "seen this many taxidermied animals" since he last read The Bloggess? TWO? What the bzz? I am troubled.

What has become immediately clear to me is that my pal Ward has not seen my (woefully neglected) Twitter profile, which features a cross-eyed taxidermied cat tiled across its background. So many cross-eyed taxidermied pussies! SO MANY! I feel saddened. My heart is heavy with sorrow.

It is also clear that Ward and I do not frequent the same types of hangouts in the actual world. I live up the street from Bobby's Bar-B-Que ( found here http://www.bobbysbbq.com/). This historic eating establishment on the (why do I live here?) Jefferson Davis (I bzz you not) Highway (kill me) features a pantsless porcine logo in a bib, a BBQ buffet, and more taxidermy than a Cabela's showroom.  The last (one) time I was  there I purposefully sat below a stuffed boar while I shoveled BBQ into my maw. I could have sat below any number of glassy-eyed carcasses. It was the second best part of my visit to this  haven of pig and  known hangout for old conservative white dudes (they had a Romney banquet there  during the 2012 elections...I don't know).

Now, that said, I am not a huge fan of BBQ. I'm all...this is nice and whatever, but meh. This makes me somehow unAmerican, I am sure. I do occasionally like BBQ (in fact we went to Maurice's in Columbia last weekend and it was delicious...I highly recommend it), but it  isn't one of my favorite things. I tend to like the sides though (oh, collard greens and mac n' cheese)! I digressed.

The BBQ is okay. The clientele is very white and churchy. The taxidermy is a thing to behold. As are the hairdos of the ladies as they file in after evening prayer group at whatever Baptist church they attend. I wish I had this review blog back then--I would have reviewed hairdos as they entered. One surprisingly young woman's bouffant was so astonishing that it made me suspicious. It literally defied gravity. And made me wonder if she had some sort of skull deformity. More than likely she was an alien with some sort of extended cranium to house her mighty alien think-brain. But, then I thought that seemed silly. Any alien with a mighty alien think-brain big enough to extend  their cranium, thus necessitating a gravity defying bouffant, wouldn't go to Bobby's. What alien would travel hundreds of light years across the galaxy only to stop short of better BBQ (famously good) places in Columbia and New Ellenton? Why not go the extra 20-40 miles and get something truly worthy of their time and intergalactic space-taste-buds? She was just a lady with a bad hairdo. A bad, bad, old-lady bouffant hairdo.

I give Ward's comment a solid five space ships out of a possible eight stuffed gentleman squirrels in monocles, and lament his lack of exposure to taxidermied critters.